Sunday September 2 1997

Dear diary,

I'm lying in my cosy bed, staring at all the posters on my bedroom wall. I can hear the wind whistling outside. I'm tired, very, very tired, BUT I can't sleep because I'm too worried. I can see my new school uniform on the chair along with my new school bag. I want to hide them away. I keep thinking there's a monster in my room, but it's just my bag and uniform on the chair!

What else will I need for tomorrow? I've packed my pens and pencils, my sports stuff, my dinner money... I hope I don't lose my money. I'm worried about that and I'm worried about getting my football boots nicked because my grandad gave them to me and he's dead now.

The worst thing will be the nerve-rattling bus journey. All the people on the top deck stand on one side and try to tip it over - it rocks like mad - AND the older pupils try to push you off. I might get bullied, picked on and pushed around. I might get in a fight. If people look at me in break-time I'll feel really nervous.

I don't really want to go to secondary school. I feel all steamed up about it. I just want to stay here. I'm not very happy that the summer holidays are over. I've had a great time playing with my friends at the Rec and going shopping with my mum. I've been playing in my tree-house too and on warm sunny days I walked to Ham Pool with my other grandad and his dog. We watched the fish, went swimming and slid down the platform.

Yesterday was the best day of my life. We went up to Lanehead Riding Centre. On the way we drove past my old primary school. The gates were locked up for summer. It seemed so small. Everything will be bigger in secondary school. I hope I don't get lost. At the riding school everything was too big for me. I picked a white horse. He was a giant and I struggled to get on his back. My legs were too short and the stirrups needed tightening. We went out of the barn, down the rough track and onto the road. He started to trot and I shouted FASTER! FASTER! It's funny how I was so frightened at first but then I got more confident.

Perhaps moving up to secondary will be like that. It is a place where I'd like to do new things, a place where I could have fun, a place where I can grow up, learn about life, get some qualifications and plan my future. I suppose, after the first day, I might just like it! Yes, there probably will be some good things about moving up, like the dinners - there's a big choice of different things to eat and there's lots of different sports and activities like woodwork, drawing and drama. The work will be harder and I'll get more homework but I'll learn more. I'd like to make new friends AND I'm looking forward to seeing my friends from other schools, like the ones I met on Field Study trip - that will be extra-special! I'm glad I know some other people who are also going to secondary otherwise I'd stand out. Perhaps we could meet at the school gate? I'm feeling tired now and all I can hear is my clock going tick-tock, tick-tock.